Seriously

There's just some information a person can go an entire lifetime without ever having to learn. I seemed to be doomed in my workplace positioning, as I am constantly plagued by neighbors "blessed" with the gift of gab. I recently had one such neighbor leave, and I threw myself a little celebration party. Finally, I wouldn't have to spend my days hearing about (and I kid you not) hormone replacement therapy, mammograms, husbands who sleep in different beds, new and old diets, vitamins, and what someone had eaten for lunch. Every. day. that. week.

Apparently the universe was sending me giant "not so fast" signals. My new neighbor moved in this week and I've gotten to hear about a whole new set of issues. Preganancies, hobbies, what someone has eaten for dinner the previous night, and other such sorted subjects are now the focus of my day. By focus I mean I do everything I can to tune it out, but instead feel like hitting my head on the desk because the pain would be more pleasant than the conversation topics overtaking my being.

The last straw came when body art was discussed. Apparently my new neighbor has a penchant for tattoos and decided to share his artwork with the rest of his coworkers. This included discussing a tattoo placed "too close to the nipple" and a graphic display of aforementioned tattoo.

Yup, definitely could have lived me entire life without that display.